The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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