She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
