I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
