Having a random hookup so left but love u
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
