Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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