Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
