She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
