By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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