he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
