so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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