shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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