We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
