Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
