Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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