I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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