Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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