so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
