yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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