Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize