All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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