hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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