On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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