i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
