He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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