are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
