i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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