My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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