so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize