You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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