I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
