She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Randomize