He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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