a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
