It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
