I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
