Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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