I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm really busy with my period
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