U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize