omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
