Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
