Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
