Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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