never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
