nut hugger
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
