Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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