Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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