In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
