I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
