just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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