susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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