hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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