If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
