Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
