I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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