I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
