I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
