Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize