Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize