hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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