So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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