Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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