I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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