I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
