There was a lot of him and a little penis
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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