guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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