i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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