its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
